The process of almost anything we do takes a lot longer than we plan for. I don't know how many times I have started a task in hopes of being finished in a short time and am still working on it for days to come. It usually seems the more I do the more there is to be done before the end product is to my liking. This same thing happened when Rob and I decided to begin the process of becoming foster parents. We intially inquired the week of Thanksgiving this past year. At the time I thought that the entire process might take a couple of months. Boy was I surprised. By the time we completed the intitial paperwork, took the training and safety classes, and had our home visits - all added with the holidays and an illness and an accident of our case worker the process took twice as long as I had originally thought. But now I am happy to report that as of yesterday Rob and I are officially licensed foster parents.
So what does that mean to us now? That means that we can get a call from our case worker asking us to take a child that we know very little about into our home and care for that child with all of our heart and soul. Seems pretty scary to me when I write it down, but Rob and I both know that the risk and fear are outshadowed by the hope of having a new member to our family. We have limited the possibilities for ourselves to only being called for children that are availble through the foster program for potential adoption or those that are nearly to that place. We've been told this will probably add significant time to how long we have to wait, but at this time this is what we think is best. I'm not sure I'm ready for the heartache of loving a child and then sending him/her back home even though I would know from the start that the ultimate goal of the program is reunification with the natural parents. The option of changing our minds is always available, and one that we might reconsider in time.
So for now we wait with anticipation of what might be.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Remembering Jim
I lost a dear member of my family today. My mother has 5 sisters and 1 brother so there were 7 in all (for the mathematically challenged). My mothers oldest sister's husband, my uncle Jim, passed today. Jim hasn't been well for some time now and has been in quite a bit of pain. So although he has passed and that in itself is very sad for those he left behind, I know that Jim himself is no longer in pain and is in a better place tonight. His death however has brought to my attention that my aunts, uncles, and parents are all at an older age now. I've watched as my grandparents passed, as their siblings passed, and as their good friends passed. That was sad, but also I know very natural. But this new turn of events, to know that my parents' generation is the next to go through this domino effect of death is saddening to me. I'm not ready for it --- if only "the power that is' would do things as I get ready for them -- wouldn't that be quite a world. I've always tried to spend as much time with my parents as possible, because I love them and I never want to have to say... "I wish I would have." But tonight I just feel that I need to do even a better job, I need to not only spend time with them, but really let them know each time I see them how much they mean to me, how much they have brought to my life, and how much they are appreciated for just being them.
The second thing on my mind is how disconnected I have become from my extended family. I actually had not seen my uncle Jim for a few years now. He lived so far away --- clear on the South side of Muncie. Isn't that sad. Nor have I spent time with my other aunts, uncles, or cousins. We see each other once a year for a reunion (which we haven't had for the past 3 years), but that is mostly it. I know this can be justified by the fact that everyone is so busy and time is limited. But that is the main reason we should make time for each other.... time is limited. One never knows when an opportunity will be lost to get to know someone on a different level. For example, many of my cousins and I spent a lot of time together as children, but we don't even know each other as adults. I'm sure some of them are as cool as I am and would be a hoot to spend time with. :) My mother doesn't see her siblings often and I feel sad for them that they have each lost those special people in their daily (or maybe weekly) lives. I also see a pattern that this has started. My siblings and I do see each other more than once a year, but not as often as I would like or as often as I think we need to. Family is so important and to miss out on it because we are "too busy" makes me sick to my stomach. I think of all the things that I waste doing, the hours I spend in front of the television or computer, the hours, although not a waste, that I give to my job and I know that I can do a better job with my family. They are important to me and I need my actions to speak louder than words.
So this year I haven't made any New Years Resolutions yet. I didn't even make the traditional one that I will lose weight (although I am committed to being more healthy). At this moment I have decided that my resolution is going to be one that will mean something. I am going to make a point of being more family active (whether they like it or not! :)) Gotta go now... I must call my sister!
The second thing on my mind is how disconnected I have become from my extended family. I actually had not seen my uncle Jim for a few years now. He lived so far away --- clear on the South side of Muncie. Isn't that sad. Nor have I spent time with my other aunts, uncles, or cousins. We see each other once a year for a reunion (which we haven't had for the past 3 years), but that is mostly it. I know this can be justified by the fact that everyone is so busy and time is limited. But that is the main reason we should make time for each other.... time is limited. One never knows when an opportunity will be lost to get to know someone on a different level. For example, many of my cousins and I spent a lot of time together as children, but we don't even know each other as adults. I'm sure some of them are as cool as I am and would be a hoot to spend time with. :) My mother doesn't see her siblings often and I feel sad for them that they have each lost those special people in their daily (or maybe weekly) lives. I also see a pattern that this has started. My siblings and I do see each other more than once a year, but not as often as I would like or as often as I think we need to. Family is so important and to miss out on it because we are "too busy" makes me sick to my stomach. I think of all the things that I waste doing, the hours I spend in front of the television or computer, the hours, although not a waste, that I give to my job and I know that I can do a better job with my family. They are important to me and I need my actions to speak louder than words.
So this year I haven't made any New Years Resolutions yet. I didn't even make the traditional one that I will lose weight (although I am committed to being more healthy). At this moment I have decided that my resolution is going to be one that will mean something. I am going to make a point of being more family active (whether they like it or not! :)) Gotta go now... I must call my sister!
Monday, December 6, 2010
No complaints
I will enjoy each and every day of the holiday season. I caught myself today thinking that I wanted to just go home and put my body on my couch and rest. Then I realized that I had a night of "extras" to do before I could even go home. When the stress set in I made myself stop right there and realize that everything I am doing I am choosing to do. Nobody is making me be this busy... I can say no at any time. Therefore, I decided right then to enjoy each and every moment of this crazy holiday season and promised myself that I wouldn't complain at all about being busy. Instead I will make mental reminders daily how blessed I am to have so much to do. I am fortunate to have a job that allows me to do what I love and offers me multiple opportunities to help others. I am fortunate to have friends that take up my time and invite me to social events. I am especially fortunate to have a family to spend time with and to love and be loved by. I am fortunate that my health allows me to enjoy all of these things. Why... I would be crazy to complain about being busy. Each moment... each interaction with somebody special in my life will be cherrished and appreciated. It's going to be a great holiday season. I feel it in my bones.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
My Political Insight
How do I feel about politics? About politicians? I think we, the American people, set politicians up to be liars. If one politician really said in all honesty what he/she was going to be able to do if elected... nobody would vote for them. This is especially true if the rest of the politicians are busy telling us what we want to hear... giving us all of the promises that we insist on in order to get our vote. I don't think all politicians are "bad". In fact, I think that most people who make the decision to run for office enter the race with the best of intentions. Those intentions get overshadowed by the pressure to get the vote, the pressure to be all things to all people, the pressure to lie in the name of running a campaign. Sometimes I don't even think that they know they are being dishonest. They really think they are going to do the things that they are promising.
This makes it difficult for an average American such as myself to know what is the best answer when I vote. I know what I want from my representatives. I want intelligent and caring representatives that will make decisions in the best interest of the people. Here is the vicious cycle though. Americans are so diverse in our thinking these days that everybody has a different idea of what is the best decisions. This is why politicians don't know what to say and therefore promise much more than they will ever have the power (and probably finances) to give.
It's a huge responsibiltiy being a politician. Each and every decision that they make has a direct impact on someone's life. I pray that those that are elected will recognize that it is an honor to serve the people and will make decisions not only with their head, but also with their hearts. I pray that they will do all they can to be informed . . not just by their fellow Republican or Democrat.. but to be informed by the people who will feel the ramifications of their decisions.
I'm ending tonight by saying that whatever happens I don't have the right to complain this time. You see, I woke up this morning with all intent of making it to the polls as soon as I was finished at work. However, I can honestly say that I forgot and didn't remember until I turned my television on later this evening and saw the results scanning across the bottom of the set. I feel horrible and irresponsible and hope that this never happens again. --- Do you believe me or is that just what I want you to believe? :)
This makes it difficult for an average American such as myself to know what is the best answer when I vote. I know what I want from my representatives. I want intelligent and caring representatives that will make decisions in the best interest of the people. Here is the vicious cycle though. Americans are so diverse in our thinking these days that everybody has a different idea of what is the best decisions. This is why politicians don't know what to say and therefore promise much more than they will ever have the power (and probably finances) to give.
It's a huge responsibiltiy being a politician. Each and every decision that they make has a direct impact on someone's life. I pray that those that are elected will recognize that it is an honor to serve the people and will make decisions not only with their head, but also with their hearts. I pray that they will do all they can to be informed . . not just by their fellow Republican or Democrat.. but to be informed by the people who will feel the ramifications of their decisions.
I'm ending tonight by saying that whatever happens I don't have the right to complain this time. You see, I woke up this morning with all intent of making it to the polls as soon as I was finished at work. However, I can honestly say that I forgot and didn't remember until I turned my television on later this evening and saw the results scanning across the bottom of the set. I feel horrible and irresponsible and hope that this never happens again. --- Do you believe me or is that just what I want you to believe? :)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Forgiveness
"I'm sorry." These words seem so simple when we read them. They even are pretty easy to say. But to mean them takes some thought and follow up. It wasn't so long ago that I said something that really hurt another person's feelings. I didn't set out to do this, but as soon as the words left my mouth, I knew the damage was done. My immidiate reaction was to apologize... which I did.. but forgiveness hasn't so easily been given to me. I'm not use to being the center of conflict, so as you can imagine this has weighed heavily on my mind. So heavily in fact that I spent up to two full weeks continuing to be angry at myself for making this "huge" mistake in the first place. To say the least I felt crummy. Now I know that I deserved to feel crummy. I did a bad thing and it had to come with consequences. However, after about 3 weeks I have finally decided to forgive myself and to realize that this one incident is not what defines me as a person. How I have lived my life, each and every minute of it, is what defines me. The good and the bad. Now I just pray that one day those that I hurt will be able to see that my apoogy was genuine and forgive me too.
I will use this as a couple of good lessons for myself. First, I need to be more careful of what I say and how I say it. Secondly, I need to remember this the next time someone hurts my feelings. I need to be more forgiving of others mistakes, remember that they are human, and that their one mistake doesn't define them.
I will use this as a couple of good lessons for myself. First, I need to be more careful of what I say and how I say it. Secondly, I need to remember this the next time someone hurts my feelings. I need to be more forgiving of others mistakes, remember that they are human, and that their one mistake doesn't define them.
Monday, October 4, 2010
A Kindergarten Kind of Tired
Teaching kindergarten is the absolute perfect place for me. I am so blessed to love what I do and to have the opportunity to do it at a place I love. My days are filled with learning, laughter, and yes a few tears (both mine and the students). There is nothing better than seeing that moment when one of my students feels so proud of him/herself that they can't contain it. Well there is one thing better, and that is seeing them get out of control excited when one of their friends does something extra great!
I wish for my kiddos that school could always be a place where their personal best is good enough and accomplishments could always be marked with a smiley face instead of a letter grade. I wish for them that everyone in their class would always be their friend... because that is just the way it is. I wish for them that they could always get 5 new tickets so each day could begin with a fresh start. I wish for them that a hug from their teacher would always make them feel important and loved. I wish for them that a quick run on the playground and a trip up the monkey bars would always make them feel like the fastest person in the world.
As we know life, we know that these things are not reality... except in a kindergarten room. Therefore, I wish for them that I can be the best teacher possible. I pray that I will teach them what they need to know, say the things that they need to hear, make school an encouraging and rewarding place to be, and set an example for them to live their lives by.
As I said earlier kindergarten is the best place for me. It isn't always easy, but at the end of the day I feel a good kind of tired. It's the kind of tired that when I put my head down on my pillow for the night, I feel like I've earned the sleep that's coming. It's the kind of tired that feels like a made a difference.
I wish for my kiddos that school could always be a place where their personal best is good enough and accomplishments could always be marked with a smiley face instead of a letter grade. I wish for them that everyone in their class would always be their friend... because that is just the way it is. I wish for them that they could always get 5 new tickets so each day could begin with a fresh start. I wish for them that a hug from their teacher would always make them feel important and loved. I wish for them that a quick run on the playground and a trip up the monkey bars would always make them feel like the fastest person in the world.
As we know life, we know that these things are not reality... except in a kindergarten room. Therefore, I wish for them that I can be the best teacher possible. I pray that I will teach them what they need to know, say the things that they need to hear, make school an encouraging and rewarding place to be, and set an example for them to live their lives by.
As I said earlier kindergarten is the best place for me. It isn't always easy, but at the end of the day I feel a good kind of tired. It's the kind of tired that when I put my head down on my pillow for the night, I feel like I've earned the sleep that's coming. It's the kind of tired that feels like a made a difference.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Choosing Happiness
I said to someone tonight that I just want everyone to be happy. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Then I started thinking about what happiness is and realized that it really does mean different thing to different people. Happiness is the place each person chooses to make or not for themself. We all have the capasity to feel happy. Happiness, like being miserable, is a decision that we must make for ourselves each and every moment of each and every day. I just have a difficult time figuring out why some people don't make the choice to be happy on a regular basis.
Now let me clarify that I am compassionate to peoples' struggles and understand that there are times when beaming happiness isn't appropriate or realistic. I know that all people, myself included, have their individual trials that alter our emotions, but when looking at the big picture it just makes sense to live with a happy heart.
On this same note I don't understand why some people have such a difficult time being happy for other and their accomplishments. What a wonderful thing it should be to see others excel. It doens't make me any less of a person, wife, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, etc. because someone else does well. In fact, it would be nice if we could look at those accomplishments as inspiration.
Tonight, I am making it my personal mission to bring a little bit of happiness into each life I touch. I will be better at enjoying my own life and at lifting others up in theirs. I'm going to be more aware of looking for the good and squelching negative thoughts; especially before they move from my brain and out my mouth...yes, for those that know me this also includes non-verbal communication. Happy thoughts to all!
Now let me clarify that I am compassionate to peoples' struggles and understand that there are times when beaming happiness isn't appropriate or realistic. I know that all people, myself included, have their individual trials that alter our emotions, but when looking at the big picture it just makes sense to live with a happy heart.
On this same note I don't understand why some people have such a difficult time being happy for other and their accomplishments. What a wonderful thing it should be to see others excel. It doens't make me any less of a person, wife, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, etc. because someone else does well. In fact, it would be nice if we could look at those accomplishments as inspiration.
Tonight, I am making it my personal mission to bring a little bit of happiness into each life I touch. I will be better at enjoying my own life and at lifting others up in theirs. I'm going to be more aware of looking for the good and squelching negative thoughts; especially before they move from my brain and out my mouth...yes, for those that know me this also includes non-verbal communication. Happy thoughts to all!
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